by Alex “SupaSlick” Shaw

In a last minute surprise announcement, Bungie has released a fourth version of Halo 3 … the one no true fan will be able to resist! Now for the reasonable asking price of One pint of first-born baby blood you too can own:

The 3rd Super Extra Special Halo 3: Ultra Extremely Expanded Legendary Edition: Ultimate Version #3!

According to a Bungie representative:

“The Legendary Edition was for wussies. THIS time we’ve really pulled out all the stops. If you thought the helmet was a waste, wait until you see this!! Double dip my ass, we’re going after dip ten!”

The Legendary 3rd Edition, Special Edition Halo 3: Super Extra Expanded Legendary Edition: Ultimate Version of Halo 3 is available in limited quantities and will arrive via HELICOPTER in a highly collectible LIFE-SIZED WARTHOG!

As part of your Ultimate Halo 3 experience, you will also get:

• Master Chief HIMSELF will come to your home and play Co-Op with you for exactly 30 minutes. Be sure to have nachos ready … The Chief likes nachos.

• An exclusive, behind-the-scenes, documentary of entitled Making of … of the Making of ‘Halo 3 Legendary Edition!’” Don’t miss this riveting showcase of Bungie marketing and their marketing team’s secret genius behind the cat sized helmet, Halo 3 Mountain Dew, and more!
• A Cortana life sized blow up doll. For all your Halo 3 needs.

• Halo 3 coloring book with one green crayon.

• Official MA5C Assault Rifle and fifty rounds of Ammunition. (Not for children ages 3 and under)

• Although the life size warthog is a model only – the radio will play nothing but the Halo 3 soundtrack and the turret will fire Halo 3 green confetti!

• To ensure your hands will be up for the ultimate Halo 3 experience, this package will also come with ten exclusive Halo 3 finger weights!

• A never-before-seen gamer designed Halo 3 Recliner Toilet – complete with green Special Edition Halo 3 Toilet Paper! Now you’ll never have to get off your ass!

• Finally, as a special bonus, fans who purchase The 3rd Super Extra Special Halo 3: Ultra Extremely Expanded Legendary Edition: Ultimate Version #3 will receive a limited edition, unreleased copy of Master Chief’s autobiography: Halo 3: My Life Behind the Mask.

• …and of course a copy of Halo 3!

Don’t miss your chance to own the version of Halo 3 you will cherish for the end of time… or at least until Halo 4!

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