by SupaSlick

So you’ve got the RRoD. What do you do now? Well, guess what?! Microsoft has the answer.

No, no, they’re not going to speed up repair times, send out loaners, add a more competent phone staff, or actually FIX the problem. Don’t be silly. They’ve come up with something even better!

The RRoD Survival Kit!
Time to let all of those weeks of boredom melt away! Check out what you get:

A box of green tissues! Because you’re going to cry and complain for quite awhile.

A Special Microsoft Phone – with 1 big button! Believe me, this is going to come in handy. Never again will you have to go through the tedious process of Microsoft’s automated system. With one push of the giant 360 ball, you will instantly be connected to a Microsoft Customer Service rep. However, it will be useless without the next item.

English to Hindi translator! Sick of repeating yourself, speaking slowly, and trying to explain why you’re calling? This just might be the answer!

RRoD Punching Bag! Screw DDR! Now you can lose weight while beating out all your frustrations! The Red Ring of Death lets you know where to aim!

A DVD of other people playing 360 games! Microsoft knows you can’t actually play anything, but you CAN watch other people play! Enjoy Halo 3 and other great games over the shoulder of other people! (Besides, your DVD player still works.)

Halo 3: The Board Game! Because boy, will you be BORED! Forget “graphics” and “gameplay.” In this exciting, “candyland” style game, you guide Master Chief through a tricky maze to avoid the flood! Includes Co-Op with the Arbiter! Fun sold separately.

With this amazingly useful kit, those 3 to 4 weeks without your console will fly right by! In fact, it’s so great, you might even forget what you’re waiting for in the first place!

The RRoD Survival Kit – don’t buy a 360 without it!

Order now! Only on Xbox Live Marketplace … wait … something’s wrong here.

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